


I See No Stars

by ellie_anne



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Be gentle, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, set during 3x01, this is the first thing i've posted here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellie_anne/pseuds/ellie_anne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sort of au where bellamy sends monty back to camp with everyone else and he looks for someone to talk to</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See No Stars

In the back of his mind, Miller is aware that he isn’t reassembling his gun with the care his dad had always told him to use. Parts only lock into place when he can calm down long enough for his hands to stop shaking. He can’t help it though, everything inside him is stirring together and mixing up and he can’t tell one emotion from the other. He hadn’t wanted to come back, he’d wanted to go with Bellamy and figure out what was going on. How had the Ice Nation warriors gotten farm station’s beacon? Did they rip it from an old weathered ship, or did they steal if from an Ark survivor?  _ If Jasper hadn’t been so stupid - _

 

“Hey,” Monty’s voice sounds above him, making Miller look up to see the younger boy standing there with his hands in his pockets. He frowns, feeling guilty, Monty had been so worried about Jasper these past few months Miller was sure he wouldn’t appreciate the nasty thoughts he was having about his best friend. At the sight of him though, everything that was expanding his chest and making it hard to breathe just disappeared. Like Monty was able to clear out all the lingering thoughts that clung to his mind like a poisonous weed. 

 

“Hey,” Miller answers back, his voice coming out rougher than he expects. “What’s up? Is something wrong?”

 

Monty drops his shoulders in a shrug, looking away from Miller before taking a seat on the log beside him. “No, nothing’s wrong really.”

 

His brows push together, confused, as he sets aside his gun and turns to Monty. Like any time Miller managed to be alone with him, his entire focus was directed to Monty, his eyes skimming over his face to find any changes, any sign of damage. It was a habit he’d formed since they found Monty in the harvesting chambers, looking over him clinically to make sure nothing had happened to him. 

 

Monty lets out a long breath, craning his head back to look at the stars. “I wanted to talk. To you.”

 

“To me? Why?” Miller asked, a surprised noise coming from his throat. He shakes his head, trying to sound less rude. “I mean, about what?”

 

He catches the sight of Monty smirking before it disappears, and for a short moment Miller feels proud of himself. He looks to Miller then, looking up at him through lashes that brush over his cheeks when he does, “About farm station.” Miller stills. The one thing he didn’t want to talk about, being brought up to him by the one person he actually  _ did  _ want to talk to. Before he can answer Monty continues, “I can’t talk to Jasper. Even if he was talking to me. He’s got his own crap to deal with. And I realize that you probably do too but -” he pulls his lip between his teeth, staying silent for a long moment. Miller watches him, and he looks to be debating on whether to continue or not. “But you’re the only other person I thought of.” It wasn’t entirely true. Monty could have talked to Bellamy, if he were ever actually free, or Clarke if she were here. They would surely understand, but so could Miller. And Monty wanted to talk to Miller more than he wanted to talk to anyone else. “I just thought if farm station had made it, then maybe my parents did too.”

 

“Hey,” Miller starts off in a soft voice, his hand going for Monty’s reflexively. He can’t seem to stop it from happening, but when Monty takes his hand he definitely rethinks taking it back. Monty’s hands are smaller than his, he was younger too, but his fingers feel so thin it actually worries Miller. Maybe he wasn’t eating as much as he should. He clears his throat so Monty will look up at him, their eyes meeting even in the dark. “Maybe they are still alive. We don’t know where those grounders got the beacon. We’ll keep looking. We’ll find them.”

 

When Monty smiles it feels like it takes more effort than it should, but Miller’s answering smile, which is small and nervous and cute, makes it worth the energy he’d lost throughout his speech. “What about - what about your boyfriend? Do you think he made it?”

 

Just like that Miller’s smile falls from his face and Monty’s worried he’s made Miller mad by bringing up his boyfriend. Monty knew of Miller’s boyfriend, saw him from afar when he worked with his parents. On occasion he’d seen Miller coming in to see the boy Monty had been so jealous of, his smile lighting up as he walked through farm station to the same room he spent every day in, up until Miller had been taking to the sky box. For a while Monty had crushed on Miller, because he was cute and seemed nice, and had amazing arms. But then Monty had actually met Miller, and he went from a kid with a crush to falling for him in a few short weeks. 

 

“I hope he’s okay,” Miller finally speaks up, not looking at Monty, instead his gaze was on the fire just a few yards away from them where another group of people huddled together and laughed, and dropped Monty’s hand. “I hope they’re all okay. Your parents too. I hope we find them and not a single person is hurt or missing. But I know better. I know there’s a chance, that even if we do find farm station, it won’t be intact. It won’t be whole. And I feel bad, but -” he stops, jaw clenching tightly before he can continue “but for the past five months I’ve thought he was dead. Him and his parents, who were really supportive of our relationship and were really nice to me. I loved them all, and I mourned them. But I mean -” Miller clears his throat and shifts in his seat, facing Monty head on “I’ve moved on.”

 

Hearing that, Monty feels a shot through his heart. Like breaking it had been so swift and so clean, not leaving a mess but the damage still evident. His hands ball into fists in his pockets, and he can’t meet Miller’s sincere gaze. “Well that’s good - that you’ve moved on I mean. I kind of accepted it too. I guess you have to expect that sort of thing, down here?” He nods, almost standing from his seat, but Miller’s hand catches his and he’s sat right back down.

 

“Even if we find them, I know I’m not the same person.” Miller’s voice was so calm, his gaze so even, that Monty couldn’t help but to fall into place with him. “That I can’t go back to the thief that loved his farm station boyfriend.”

 

The smile that lights up Monty’s face really can’t be helped when he says, “Hey, you’re a great thief.”

 

Other than the short laugh that leaves him, Miller acts as if Monty hadn’t spoke. “Even though I’ve moved on, I’m not sure how it’s going to work out.” His eyes meet Monty’s then, dark and piercing, reaching out for Monty.

 

Monty pulls in a ragged breath, Miller’s fingers brushing over his arm almost hesitantly, the whisper of a touch. “Why’s that?” 

 

Miller smiles at Monty, his favorite shy and nervous smile, “Because I can’t tell if you’re really just this nice or if you actually like me.”

 

Monty breathes out suddenly, trying for a laugh but too surprised to manage it. “I am this nice actually,” Miller’s hand pulls back and Monty wants to punch himself in the face “but I do like you, so it could be that too.”

 

To Monty’s surprise, Miller’s cheeks darken with blush and he ducks his head down before looking back at Monty, beaming at him like the freakin’ sun. “Really?”

 

He nods slowly, “Really. I was honestly so worried I was being obvious. I - I don’t really have much experience with flirting and I wasn’t sure if  _ you  _ were interested and -” Monty breaks off suddenly, when Miller breaks out in a deep, throaty laugh.

 

_ “Interested,”  _ Miller snorts. “Monty, I’m interested in learning how to shoot. I’m interested in getting our people back. You - I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you.” Monty pulls in a shocked breath, which is met with Miller smiling back before one of his hands comes up to cup the back of his neck and he’s suddenly leaning in. 

 

It was Monty’s first kiss; there, outside what used to be the Ark, as Miller brushed his lips over Monty’s just to test the waters, before Monty lets out a low noise from the back of his throat and Miller’s mouth crashed against his. They’re slightly chapped from the colder weather, and when his hand brushes over the back of his neck Monty can feel the callouses there. Before, as Monty had watched Miller from the corner of his eye - even on the Ark - he had never been as aware of Miller as he was right now. He could feel heat radiating between them as his hands found the collar of Miller’s jacket and pulled him closer. Miller’s tongue traces against the Monty’s bottom lip and the surprised gasp he pulls in brings the smell of their honeydew soap and the bitterness of gunpowder. 

 

He didn’t see stars, after so many years on the Ark he didn’t want to see stars anymore. No, when he kissed Miller he saw starburst of color, like everything was coming to life because of this brave boy in front of him. And he felt warm, warmer than any bonfire could make him feel, when Miller’s hands cup his face, with an unexpected gentleness Monty didn’t think he would find in Miller’s touch. He should have known better.

 

Eventually, unfortunately, Monty had to pull back for air. He opens his eyes to see Miller looking back at him, his face a mix of awe and shock. Like he couldn’t believe he’d actually just kissed Monty. The feeling was mutual. 

 

He smiles, his head feeling a little dreamy, feeling lighter when Miller smiles back. “I guess that answers my question then.”

 

Miller leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to the side of his mouth. “I guess it does.”


End file.
